


Through good and bad

by beanharry



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, Kinda, M/M, Malaysian GP 2017, Singapore GP 2017 (mentioned), that's the accurate summary, well if you look at the races it's a given
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 05:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12248208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanharry/pseuds/beanharry
Summary: Mark felt himself going numb. Sebastian had to pull out of qualifying. He couldn't believe something like this could happen.Again.





	Through good and bad

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I was bored so I wrote this. No plot and many mistakes grammar wise. Still here it is. Enjoy!  
> Also, note: I'm very positive about Seb's season. No matter how it turns out. But it's okay if you don't feel the same. :)
> 
> tumblr: sebvett

Mark felt as if time had stopped. He watched the screen where it showed him crystal clear the Ferrari garage of car _number five_ , whose driver currently was getting out of the cockpit with the helmet still covering his face, hiding the expression which Mark had no doubt wasn’t a look of elation.

He felt stricken. He couldn’t believe this was happening to Seb. Again. On this track, where he was supposed to be on the front row, where pole position was for the grab. He felt numb while watching Sebastian taking off his helmet and neck protector and went on grabbing several mechanic’s hand, obviously thanking them for their hard and tremendous work on his engine.

He continued to watch the monitors but his mind was already elsewhere.

Mark thought about the race in Singapore, only two weeks prior. He remembered asking his superiors to let him go so he could see Seb, just right after he crashed out. It had been one of the hardest things he ever had to do – not because he didn’t want to see the German, no. It was because he had to wait until Seb was finished with the compulsory interviews. It was because Sebastian broke down the moment they were alone.  
Mark remembered how Seb’s face crumbled like a castle of sand as they reached each other, the mask he wore for the public disappearing as quick as lightning. Sebastian’s frustrated face was burned into his memory, the long minutes of swearing and yelling and the quiet sobs after, the way Seb’s whole frame shook with it while Mark held him tightly, silently, never letting go.  
  
After a while, after Seb had calmed down reasonably enough, they were able to discuss what happened, although not as thoroughly as Mark would have liked since he had to get back to his media duties and Sebastian to his own PR stuff himself.

He knows that after they parted he was out of it through the whole race - he couldn’t concentrate at all, his mind constantly on Sebastian. He caught DC looking at him sympathetically a few times from the corner of his eye, but he kept his comments to himself for which Mark was grateful. He had only wished to be with Seb, to get home and forget about this whole horrendous weekend that had been so promising just the day before.

He shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. The screen now showed the cars getting out for Q3, some of them lining up at the end of the pitlane.

He willed himself to concentrate, knowing that Seb had to go through the media first and after that he would stay in the garage until the very end of the quali, supporting Kimi with everything he got. Mark smiled faintly to himself. Sebastian deserved so much more than this bad luck that seemed to loom over him recently like a dark cloud.   

He sighed, leaning back to the hard and unwelcome backrest of the black leather chair in the media centre. He felt exhausted, drained of energy and not only because of the cold he couldn’t have been able to shake the last couple of days.

 

*

 

After it was all said and done, after they went through usual motions and the plans for the following day once again, Mark hastily said his goodbyes to everyone. On his way out of the building he checked his phone. He furrowed his brows in concern while swiping his lock screen open. There was already a message from Seb.

**I guess you saw. I’m fine so no worries. In my room if you finished.**

He sighed heavily, in a moment of utter relief as he crossed the paddock in quick steps. He couldn’t be completely reassured until he saw Seb in person though.

The moment he stepped through the door and closed it behind himself he went straight to Sebastian who was quietly chatting with Britta and Antti at the back of the room, absently arranging his racing clothes on the desk they were standing in front of.

Seb's two companion glanced at him as he finally crossed the room and arrived next to them, only Seb was still oblivious to his presence. As he turned around and saw Mark standing there, however, he froze for a moment – the silence that his unfinished sentence had brought upon the room felt deafening.

‘Hey.’ said Seb after a moment softly.

Mark was aware of Antti and Britta leaving the room silently with a reassuring smile and a clap to the German’s shoulder.

‘Seb. I'm so sorry’ his voice cracked before gathering the other man into his arms, pressing his face into his messy hair.

‘Mark’ Sebastian’s voice was still gentle, almost tired ‘It’s okay. I’m fine. It was on the cards’

‘But it shouldn’t have had to be. Fuck, Seb. It shouldn’t.’ his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears. 

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He held Seb as tightly as he dared, and he felt the other man hanging onto him just the same.

‘You know that’s how it goes. That’s racing.’

Mark wished he didn’t know that. But Sebastian was right. He still felt like the world crashed and burned around him. He wondered how Seb managed to stay so calm. He gently pushed the German away, until he was at arm length.

Sebastian looked exhausted. He smiled faintly at Mark, but it was a dim version of his usual one, that lighted up rooms, that could match the sun itself.

His face looked like someone’s who was tired of fighting but carried on doing it despite all the odds. Despite it slowly eating away at his core. That was Sebastian. A fighter.

The German reached up to touch Mark’s face, his expression slowly turning into a frown that was so typical of him.

‘I know what you think, Mark, but please stop it. It will be okay. We have a strong car, you know that. I’ve started from the back of the grid before’

 _But not when you had this much to lose_ thought Mark, although he only nodded and didn’t say a word. He turned his face into the caress of Seb’s hand and closed his eyes.

‘You will win this championship, you hear me, Seb. I know you will.’ he kissed Sebastian’s wrist. ‘You are the most exquisite driver on this grid. I know you are capable of anything’ he opened his eyes to look at Seb’s face ‘I know you _can_ do it’

Seb laughed a little, smiling his real smile this time that was still the brightest and most beautiful thing Mark has ever seen, _knew_ he will ever see.

‘Even if I lose it Mark, it’s... I used to think life was all about racing, you know? Back then. It still means the world to me, that hasn’t changed. But there are more important things to life than winning championships.’ he paused, looking at Mark intensely, with so much meaning behind the words that it took his breath away ‘There will be another time for me, yeah? Next year, or the one after that. I believe in that. Do you?’

Mark looked at Sebastian in front of him. The man he has loved for so many years without even realising it, but knew in this raw and honest way for only a couple of them.

He wordlessly leaned down to kiss the German. He sighed into the sensation of Sebastian’s stubble scratching his cheeks, as their lips parted to pant into each other's mouth. He knew that he would follow him anywhere in the world, has he decided to go. The man he loved so much sometimes he felt like it could consume him whole. But he knew one thing. One thing that would never change.

‘Yes.’


End file.
